Dear God,

I really miss him today, and am having a hard time with it. I read some old emails he sent me, it was really tough, because even just reading them, I could hear his voice, as if he was talking to me. Made me fall apart today. It still really hurts. I know I will see him again someday, but I really want him back, he was someone I could pour my heart out to, which I did often. Yes, I know I can talk to Jeff, and do just about the same thing, but in a way it was really different with him. So if you could, tell him I miss him a lot, and there are so many things I wish I could have changed, but I most of all that I love him, and he was one of my very best and close friends. Thank you for getting me out of my rough spots in life, you kept me going through emails and calling me or texting me. I miss your jokes. I am really proud of you, but I miss you so much. I regret the most, is that I got too busy with work and my life, and I never made any time to see you, you always tried to see me whenever you could. It really seemed like things were getting better, and I didnt worry about anything because I saw you getting through all of it. I dont know what I was thinking really. Many things I wish I could change, but I cant. So I'm sorry for that. God, I appreciate your healing, but I'm still having a hard time. And I always will.